Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
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