Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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