Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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