I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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