I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
