I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Randomize