tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
