She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
