Betty ford says i'm here all night
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
