This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
