our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
