she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize