Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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