i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
