Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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