don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
