well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
