Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize