"it" just moved
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
