I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
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