so that wasnt chicken after all
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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