I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
