I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
