If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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