My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize