She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
well, you know. whores of a feather.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
