Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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