its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Panties = found
Randomize
