bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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