My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
