Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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