some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
