I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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