I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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