i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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