y did u give ur computer a hand job?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
