would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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