never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize