is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize