so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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