YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
