he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
