I understand Curling. That high.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
