and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
