Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
