Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
