Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
You are a genius and a whore.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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