My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
