I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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