Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
me + whiskey = a bad person
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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