Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
