so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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