Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
