i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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