Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
