Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
