she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
